What is Swineapple, you ask? It’s ham inside of a pineapple wrapped in bacon. It’s like a turducken, but better, because it’s tropical. And, while some people may cook a swineapple with a pork tenderloin or even pork ribs, we prefer to use pre-cooked ham. Why? Well, here are three reasons:
- It’s pre-cooked (no worries about undercooking it and making everyone horribly, horribly ill!).
- It holds its own alongside pineapple. The acidity and flavour of the pineapple is very strong; ham is packed with flavour and salt, which balances the pineapple beautifully.
- The enzymes in pineapple act as a high-powered meat tenderizer, so you’ll want to cook it quickly. Since the ham is pre-cooked, all you have to do is worry about getting the bacon nice and crispy. By the time the bacon is done, the pineapple and meat inside will be heated through, and you’ll be good to go.
Before you get cooking, note that the ingredient list for this recipe is quite vague. This is because the pineapple size will vary (and that will affect the amount of bacon you need), and depending on the size of the hollowed-out core of the pineapple, the amount of ham you use will vary. So just double up on your ingredients, use what you need, and enjoy the rest for breakfast the next morning. It’s a win-win, friends.
1 large pineapple
1 small tender tip ham (or other small cut of ham)
1 package thick-cut bacon
Your favourite barbecue sauce
Step 1: Assemble your ingredients. It helps if you include a lei and a coconut-based drink to get you in a tropical mood. You know, because you’re cooking a pineapple. Also, preheat your grill to medium-high heat.
Step 2: Wash the pineapple. Yes, it sounds crazy, but you don’t know where it’s been. Next, dry it.
Step 3: Slice off the top and bottom of the pineapple and set aside. Cut off the spikey outside layer of the pineapple and discard.
Step 4: Carefully remove the core of the pineapple. This is difficult. You may need to awkwardly use a variety of knives to do this, but don’t worry, no one is judging you. It’s just a tough thing to do.
Step 5: See? This is what it will look like once you’re done. Now, pour yourself a nice, stiff drink. The hardest part is done.
Step 6: Now you’ll slice up your ham. Cut it nice and thin, in itty-bitty pieces. Look how cute and little it is.
Step 7: Time to get crafty! Take all your bacon and weave it into this lattice-like square. It’s just like making a fancy crust on top of a pie. If this is way too complicated and beyond your comprehension, check out this how-to article.
Step 8: Take your stunning, hollow pineapple and stand it up. Put its bottom back on, as pictured.
Step 9: Stuff your pineapple. Alternate a few pieces of sliced ham with some barbecue sauce and a little bit of pepper. Repeat until the pineapple is full.
Step 10: Put the pineapple’s crown on. Or its top. Whatever you want to call it.
Step 11: Lay your pineapple down gently (and tenderly) on top of the bacon, and then hold one end of the bacon weave close to the pineapple and slowly roll it so you cover the pineapple. If the weave doesn’t cover the whole pineapple, add some more bacon. More bacon is always a good idea. Now, using butcher’s twine, secure the bacon to the pineapple. Use some toothpicks if you need to. Sometimes the bacon can be finicky, but it’s not worth getting upset about because bacon is so damn delicious.
Step 12: Take a couple pieces of aluminum foil and place a roasting rack on top. Secure the sides to the outer edges of the rack. This will keep all of the bacon grease contained, therefore reducing smoke and grease-induced fires. Swineapple is delicious, but totally not worth setting your home on fire for.
Step 13: Gently (and oh, so tenderly) pick up your pineapple and place it on the rack.
Step 14: Place the rack on the grill, cover, and cook for 15 minutes.
Step 15: After 15 minutes, awkwardly turn the pineapple. Don’t cry if some of the bacon falls off, just grab more toothpicks. There are few things in life that toothpicks can’t fix.
Step 16: Once the bacon is all crispy and delicious, transfer the pineapple to a cutting board.
Step 17: Remove the butcher’s twine and countless toothpicks from the pineapple. Slice into four pieces with a serrated knife. Savour the incredible juiciness that you are about to consume. Wipe drool.
Step 18: Transfer the sliced pineapple to a serving dish and enjoy!